[
Sunday, June 13, 2010
. ]
Hey guys,
i guess it's been a long while since we met and since i appeared for cg.
somehow, i dont really know how to put it but, there's something keeping me away from cg.
some fear of something about cg, that i just dont want to go back.
think it was the easter event we had at fuchun..
felt that i screwed up so bad that i didn't rly dare to go for cg..
and instead decided to immerse myself in pool.
somehow feel that you guys would hate me or something.
and i still find it a little hard to accept ade's step down too.
been w. ade since sec 1. kind of lost now.
yeah. i guess that's all =/
i can write a whole lot of crap in compos, but... i dont really think i can write anymore.
everythings a mishmash in me now. very confused.
appreciate if you could pray.
thanks.
-p.
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 8:48 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
. Confession]
Hey people,its me. Gosh, it's really weird to be typing this in a somewhat dying blog or rather I feel weird typing this thing. I'm supposed to share this like a
few months ago but hey,I'm doing it now(: Don't mind the long windedness as you read cause I'm the kind of person who like to put in a lot of unecessary info. I think Esther and Luke may have known this already, but just sharing for those who don't.
Actually,I have been in WEFC for a really,really long long time..since like pri school.And yes,I remember familiar faces(luke,joshua,hannah,lydia etc....) in the CG cause I also attended powerkids but you know,not the close friend type.At
that time,I was close to Wei En(a girl, she moved to another church alrdy) and Aaron(coz all our parents are in the same cg).I attended church regularly okay.The problem starts in the transition to youth group la.
When I was in Sec 1&2,I was under Caleb and Sulwyn...Adeline came in during sec 2 i guess.Very vague memory but I think Wei En wasnt like there anymore in sec 2 cause her parents brought her to another church and Aaron wasnt there cause he was still,like young la.At first,it was okay with Wei En,she's funny and all.You know, like you have a friend with you.Then, we befriended another girl called Jessica(Winnie's younger sis).She's also the soft-spoken type.So when Wei En left,still have Jessica.Dont ask me why cause I dont know why I just cant make friends with other youths. Somewhat or somehow I see the other youths like "sacred-cannot-talk-cannot-touch"kind.LOL right?
Anyway,I also thought cg was a completely waste of time.During the period of splitting into the different gender cg(I'm still with Ade),I always got annoyed like how the other girls always laugh at their own inner jokes,over very small things etc...Just, laugh laugh
LAUGH throughout the entire cg time and I dont get a single thing they are laughing about.So, I just stop attending in sec 3 i guess. Ade and Jessica kept texting me to come but I just gave excuses that my cca also happen to fall the same day(its true,but it ends way before cg so I can actually make it).There were a few times,maybe 1-3,that I came back but Jessica was gone..not gone gone la!
Adeline was still texting me to come back,she's really nice(: and she stop.. around the middle of my sec 4 year.Then there was once Aaron asked if I wanna join back the cg,told me I was still under Ade and I rejected it. I still have completely no idea that the cg was alrdy different and thought the same thing will repeat itself again.
Aha,now its my J1 year.Out of a sudden,someone most likely Adeline texted if I could come back to cg.Just dont know why, I agreed(I think God just suddenly said go! to me).
So I went and WAAAHHHLLAAAAAHH~~~~
I opened the door and I see this big group of guys with like 1 or 2 girls there. I totally freaked out man.Yes,outside maybe I'm smiling to be friendly or smth like that but inside,I was like shocked to the MAXX man.Oh shit, I'm with a group of strangers and I totally dont know how to talk or start a conversation at all.That's why I'm super quiet and weird during cg.An example if you havent notice,everytime I feel nervous or awkward, I will scratch myself excessively...scratch head,hands,legs and especially arms OR keep drinking water.
Then esther came along~woohoo,a girl and she looks friendly and shes the first I actually make friends with.So you notice I keep sticking to her.Then another problem....actually I was still uncomfortable with the cg(guys dont really talk if they dont know you well,sarah was like zzzz-i-dont-know-what-to-say-to-her,pearly was super scary,adeline was like go-and-make-friends-yourself kind)and I didnt want to become a leech to Esther.You know what it means right?
So I was on-off throughout J1.Esther kept asking me to come and I gave excuses again.
And so...didnt come for cg at the end of J1 and now,its J2 Year!
But this time,it was like BANG!!!Suddenly at the beginning of the year, God told me again to go back. This time,with a reason.It was smth like"Eh,if you dont go back it will just keep repeating.Just make the effort to keep coming constantly and build the relationship".And guess what,I did and also found out that Pearly,Brandon,Jeanette,Eliza all went to PJ.Its also another way to build friendship ya?
So I came for cg,David's farewell (: but thats not the end yet ):
I wavered in the recent 3 weeks and then news of Adeline stepping down strucked me.OMG,you know when she said that,I felt so guilty.I felt as though I disappointed her throughout my life since sec 2 and all.She's so nice,so....uh committed.
Anyways,I've decided to type this lloooooooong message cause I've just finished my 3rd day of E.E.Adeline texted me about this last wk and I felt so guilty that I told her I will go for it.
Alright,I will like end here.Hope you guys enjoyed my story and that you dont mind the long-windedness.Btw,I think you can guess who am I alrdy la.
-Beryl.
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 6:07 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Sunday, May 16, 2010
. ]
YOU PPL SUCCKKKKKK
WHERE HV U ALLL GONEEEEE
I WENT FOR SERVICE ALONE TDY! >:@
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 4:42 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
. ]
please? ):
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 7:42 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Sunday, May 9, 2010
. ]
Guys, I really need you all to post stuff here.
I mean, doesn't anyone have any needs? O_O
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 6:45 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Monday, May 3, 2010
. taa daa!]
The Blessing of Surrender
by Rick Warren
Quit quarreling with God! Agree with him and you will have peace at last! His favor will surround you if you will only admit that you were wrong. Job 22:21 (LB)
The Bible is very clear about how we benefit when we worship God through surrender: "Agree with him and you will have peace at last! His favor will surround you if you will only admit that you were wrong" (Job 22:21 LB).
In surrender, you begin to really live the life God intended: "Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live" (Mark 8:35 LB).
You are set free, liberated from self-preoccupation: "But offer yourselves to the ways of God and the freedom never quits. All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. But thank God you've started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free to live openly in his freedom!" (Romans 6:16-18 MSG).
God is able to use you in great ways.
Why did God choose Mary, of all women, to be the mother of Jesus? It was because she was totally surrendered to God. When the angel explained God's improbable plan, she humbly responded, "I am the Lord's servant! Let it happen as you have said" (Luke 1:38 CEV).
Nothing is more powerful than a surrendered life in the hands of God.
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 7:28 AM
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**dreaming**
[
Sunday, April 25, 2010
. ]
a
dazed dreamer dreat
at 8:44 AM
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**dreaming**
